Okay! Okayyy! It's getting a little weird and boring but trust me, once you do it, you will also feel the same.
So, how did I get this idea?
Actually, I was in bad mood, a bit upset, so I called my friend and talked to her and felt better after almost an hour and then we kept talking and it was fun, and suddenly she said she had to go to do exercise and left and here, I was bored again, in a second. The first thought that hit my mind was what do I do now?
And before I could come up with an answer I took my phone and opened Instagram to find nothing. I switched account and found nothing there too. I repeat the same thing once again and I still haven't found anything. I switched app this time and opened WhatsApp to see if there is anything but ended up switching again and opening Instagram again to find nothing. I repeated this twice without even thinking and suddenly I noticed, "Wait! What am I doing? What is this behavior?
I am so much attached to these apps, I can't think of anything other than these. Am I in love? No! I am addicted! (Toxic relationship signs😂)
I have been observing my behavior and my thought process since an year now and I felt bad about this realization. So I decided to take this step but I wasn't much sure about it. So I did a bit of research and convinced myself that my phone and its battery won't die if I didn't use them. I also read an article about detox to be informed about what it feels like and what I should do to keep myself strong and it really helped. Following the article, I uninstalled Instagram, Facebook, Twitter immediately but kept WhatsApp and YouTube aside from this category for important work and stuff. I swear, I felt so much light, right after doing that. I felt like a prisoner held free. But again..
"What do I do now? I am bored!"
Day 1/2 : *I started this in evening 😂so..* This thing kept hitting me every now and then, but since it was my first step of detox, I already had enough dopamine to cope up with this. I got into bed and before sleeping, like we all do, I checked my phone to find that those apps are no more there...ttssshh... This was the exact reaction and then I tried to sleep, but kept struggling for almost three hours. I had already got the taste of it and knew what these apps have done to me. 3 am thoughts are usually deep realizations ;)
Day 1 : This is what my diary entry says : " It was full of realizations and craving and makes you weak, especially at night, isliye, I've got two books today, Munshi Premchand ji ki kahaniya and Godan, so that everytime I feel like I have nothing else to do, not even art or any activity, I pick these and get my needed amount of dopamine."
I woke up and checked my phone with half opened eyes and went tssshhh again. I realized, I am not that much lazy that I think of myself. It's just my social media addiction which makes me forget everything and lay in bed scrolling through apps until I realize it is already late and I have to get up, there is no option left. I got up and got ready happily. Went for shopping and had many other realizations about how this pandemic and lockdown has affected me. ( 'll talk about them some other day)
After I got home, I made this and planted a sapling. Damnnnn! I can't tell you in words! How much refreshing it felt.
While making this, at one point, I felt like I have failed and this is not going to turn out to be a good one but when it actually did come out like this, I effinn felt like Picasso :)))) (Did Picasso use oil pastels!?!?) Anyways I was happy and in so much peace, that's what matters the most right!
Day 2 : My Day 2 journal in diary is a happiiee journal. " Ooo! Feels like I am on a vacation. Did I mention yesterday that I made amazing oil pastel drawing, can't take my eyes off it. Today also, I kept sleeping but woke up half an hour earlier than yesterday. Made gatte ki sabji (you'll know if you're marwari😂) after soooo long and everyone loved it. It was raining whole day, giving me hill station vibes ;) I don't know how is hill station related to this weather. Hahahh I badly want to wear my new tops and that's my morning motivation for tommorow (yes I am weird and still get happy over these things like a 5 yo girl sometimes)
It was hard not thinking about Instagram and what's happening around in world, but I somehow managed it by grabbing my newly rented books. Also, I didn't check my mobile when I woke up today, I knew it already. That's it for today. Peace:)"
Day 3 : I was acting like a complete lazy ass on Day 3, that's why no diary entry, but I must say, it was my "Day of Victories", where I won over my brain. Here is how :-
1. I got up early despite alarm being deactivated and me being late.
2. I exercised positively.
3. I did riyaz, and I swear, it was good, I felt sooooo happy.
4. I made my own dry fruit milkshake and it tasted niiiccceeee :))
5. I made momos at home :D yeeeeeeeeepppppp and had my tummy extra full. So much that I didn't write my journal and somehow made myself record a video journal because talking is easy plus I needed a walk badly to not feel like I am pregnant with momos inside XD (also, I don't have a single photo of my momos because I grabbed them as soon as I took them out of the steamer😋)
6. My friend asked me to open Instagram and watch whatever she sent me. She knew, I was on a detox still she asked for it, that's why I logged in again and saw so many DMs and notifications, but after watching the video, I logged out and uninstalled instantly. Those two seconds right after finishing watching the video and before logging out were tough and deciding moment for me. I didn't gave in and that's where I won my own battle (and celebrated with two plate momos later) Hill station vibes were still on :))
This day was a bit tough. Full of cravings, temptation and my brain fooling me around.
Lesson : You can do what you think you can't.
Day 4 : I didn't record my video journal this time, but made sure writing it.
"Ah! Well, today it was tougher. I even watched 2 and a half episodes of Money Heist and you know my accent now. It is becoming hard today. I am reacting badly. Sometimes irritated, sometimes angry. I am observing my behavior. I am getting irritated by simplest of things, which in general make people laugh, such as tickling. I just yelled at bhaiya for doing this, while I was working. This was so normal but I yelled so loud that it could be heard from the last corner of my street. My brain is tryna fool me, to get back on Instagram in the name of my channel, that long time break will cause loss of reach and followers. I am reacting and then observing myself and trying to control it all. This is tough. I feel like a drug addict kept in a rehabilitation center.
I said sorry to mamma and bhaiya."
Day 4 : " Writing this on 17 Aug, 16th was a tough day, yet a memorable one and precious. I left my detox, crying under sheets, concluding, God's love is greater than all kinds of love in this world. I was at peace again :)
Final thoughts : That's all I experienced in just four days (4 and 1/2 days technically) And I have learned so many things that I won't forget ever. Going on a detox is never a bad idea. Infact it helps you a lot in growing and getting closer to your inner self.
Here is what you can do if you're on a detox :
1. You make your own rules.
2. Create or Consume i.e. read, cook, eat, dance, sing, write, draw, click selfies, wear new clothes, talk to people, do some grooming of yourself and your place as well, exercise, learn something new, etc.
3. Do whatever tf you like or wanna try, except the subject of your detox.
I hope you had a nice experience reading this and if you're thinking of doing one, don't just think, go for it :)
All the best! I am open to questions, curiosities and help ;)
Thank you :D
What a great journey✈️🌈!!
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